- Guy on train: I'd fuck you if you didn't have so many tattoos.
- Me: *turns up music*
- Guy: I said I'd fuck you if you didn't have so many tattoos!
- Me: *takes off headphones* Leave. Me. Alone.
- Guy: Why the fuck do you have so many tattoos?
- Guy: Are you fucking deaf as well as a piece of trash?
- Lady by door: Hey. Leave her alone.
- Guy: Are you her trash girlfriend? Fucking dykes, all tattooed like fucking men. Disgusting waste of pussy.
- Lady: *moves forward, carefully moves jacket so only I can see the badge on her belt* Are you okay?
- Me: Fine. Just wish he'd go away.
- Lady cop: I can make that happen.
- Guy: Oh, yeah, bitch? Who the fuck are you? I'll kill you!
- Lady cop: And that's what I was waiting for. *grabs guy, holds him against the door* Harassing women on the train was enough, but you just threatened a cop. You're battin' a thousand tonight.
- Entire train: *applauds*
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This is SO cool that I just had to share.
you clever fuckers
my teacher used this today
23+8+9+19+11+5+25 = 100%
the marvel cast keeping it professional
(Source: watsonslocked)40,541 notes ~~ Permalink ~~ Reblog ~~
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taylor swift is like that aunt that tries to be “hip” with the young’ns and “with the times” and then asks you what does bae stand for and after you tell her she starts calling everything bae even the lamp next to the couch
HEY YOU HAVEN’T SEEN THE LAMP NEXT TO MY COUCH AND I WILL HAVE YOU KNOW THAT IT IS, IN FACT, VERY MUCH BAE.
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“In 2002, having spent more than three years in one residence for the first time in my life, I got called for jury duty. I show up on time, ready to serve. When we get to the voir dire, the lawyer says to me, “I see you’re an astrophysicist. What’s that?” I answer, “Astrophysics is the laws of physics, applied to the universe—the Big Bang, black holes, that sort of thing.” Then he asks, “What do you teach at Princeton?” and I say, “I teach a class on the evaluation of evidence and the relative unreliability of eyewitness testimony.” Five minutes later, I’m on the street.
A few years later, jury duty again. The judge states that the defendant is charged with possession of 1,700 milligrams of cocaine. It was found on his body, he was arrested, and he is now on trial. This time, after the Q&A is over, the judge asks us whether there are any questions we’d like to ask the court, and I say, “Yes, Your Honor. Why did you say he was in possession of 1,700 milligrams of cocaine? That equals 1.7 grams. The ‘thousand’ cancels with the ‘milli-’ and you get 1.7 grams, which is less than the weight of a dime.” Again I’m out on the street.”
powerful Black Science Man
“I teach a class on the evaluation of evidence and the relative unreliability of eyewitness testimony.” Five minutes later, I’m on the street.
This is a good illustration of what’s wrong with the US criminal justice system.
I’m more struck by the second anecdote, in which he was evidently disqualified from jury duty for displaying the ability to do math.
- baby: d... d... d...
- father: ...dad? omg you are going to say dad as your first word!!!
- baby: d... dONT WANNA BE AN AMERICAN IDIOT
- baby: *guitar sounds from baby's mouth*
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i find it funny that “i like big butts” has always been a well-liked song, but as soon as Nicki Minaj samples it and shows off her amazing ass in a video, suddenly OH MY GOD WHAT A SLUT PUT THAT AWAY
like, it’s okay for a guy to talk about how much he loves butts
but it’s not okay for women to love their own butts
funny how that works